Simple as ABCD…

We often find ourselves at the mercy of our emotions. And so often find we that we react rather than respond, much to our chagrin. So the next time we feel fear, anger or frustration, we could try this:

A is for Adversity. Like traffic or a rainstorm. Sorry, no genie can let us wish it away.

B is for Belief. Let’s look for beliefs with the troublesome words of should, ought, and must. “Traffic shouldn’t be this bad.” “The weather man ought to have alerted us to this!”

C is for Consequences. Banging the steering wheel with our fist can send our blood pressure into the stratosphere. And bemoaning our now wet hair and clothes from that sudden downpour won’t dry us off.

D is Dispute. Are we demanding that everyone (or everything) bend to our wishes? Is that rational? No way. We can want, we can wish and we can definitely try our best in the future, but we cannot demand if we want to stay happy and sane. Disputing facts is counter-productive.

Based on a list from Eric Barker, author of ‘Barking Up the Wrong Tree’

Life is not perfect. People aren’t perfect. We are not perfect. And that’s okay. But having beliefs that any of these things “should” be the way we want them to be causes us a lot of unnecessary suffering.

Maybe we think we deserve that raise we didn’t get. That doesn’t change the reality. Maybe we believe that our children shouldn’t fight. But they do. Maybe we believe that we shouldn’t get sick. But we do.

What did Epictetus, the great Stoic philosopher say, back in the first century AD?

What did Shakespeare write in Hamlet?

And how about the Buddha?

Rarely can we change the world, its circumstances, or the people around us. But we can always change our thoughts. And changing how we perceive what happens and allowing that maybe there’s a lesson there for us could make us thoughtful, at the very least. And maybe grateful at the best!

It’s always our choice!

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