Changing Others

Have you ever wished/prayed/ exhorted/pleaded for someone to change?

• “If only he would get a job.”
• “If only she would start exercising.”
• “If only he would stop smoking.”

Yes, I know we only want them to change or realize their potential because they will be happier, more productive and achieve greater fulfillment. Right?

But we need to acknowledge that when we want them to change, we are judging them.

What if we could just let the people around us be who they are and love them unconditionally like we so often say we do!

Really?

We probably  couch our need to change others with the best of intentions.

But more often than not, we find that the actions (or lack of actions) of the people closest to us are embarrassing, annoying or unacceptable in our better judgment.

After all, we want the best for them, don’t we? And we just happen to think we know what the best is.

They need our help, don’t they?

If we see someone about to be hit by a car, we should probably intervene. Seems like the right thing to do, doesn’t it?

But what if they want to

• keep smoking,
• eat unhealthy, fattening food or
• stay in a relationship that’s going nowhere?

What business is it of ours?

What if instead of judging, “helping,” worrying about them, we really love them just as they are, no changes needed?

Remember?

”Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye”

Could it be that we like the benefit of deciding what others should do: that if we’re fixing others, then our time is usually too occupied to deal with our own lives?

What if instead of trying to change others into what we think they should be, how about if we live the life WE were meant to live and be the example for others to consider for themselves?

Folks don’t want to hear us giving them a sermon. (Especially our loved ones!)  So what if we stopped preaching /nagging/reminding/bugging our loved ones and friends about how they should change?

In addition to giving our unconditional love, what if we were willing to just be a great example?

Maybe it would be a big enough project for each of us to just work on/play with  being more loving, more kind, more thoughtful?

Are you up to the challenge?

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