Posts by Pat:
What is the Ben Franklin effect?
You may know a lot about Benjamin Franklin-for example, that he invented bifocals, graces the $100 bill, and experimented on electricity with a kite and a key.
But you may never have heard of the Ben Franklin effect that was even cited in Dale Carnegie’s book “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”
In a nutshell:
The Misconception: You do nice things for the people you like and bad things to the people you hate.
The Truth: You grow to like people for whom you do nice things and hate people you harm.
The things we do often create the things we believe. And so it is with others.
In his autobiography, Ben quoted what he described as an “old maxim”
He that has once done you a kindness will be more ready to do you another, than he whom you yourself have obliged.”
Dale Carnegie in his book interprets the request for a favor as “a subtle but effective form of flattery.”
So what does this mean for us?
Well…
If asking for a favor is a way of signalling that we consider someone to have something we don’t, then it’s a way of showing admiration and respect. People like to be admired and respected.
When we grant someone a favor, we start to like them better, perhaps because we enjoy the admiration and respect they have shown to us.
(I guess it’s another way that life’s “Law of Reciprocity” works!)
What do YOU think?
Is this just a sideways look at our relationships?
Is there a way that this could be misused?
Have you ever experienced Ben Franklin’s effect?
More word play!
Oxymorons are fun to play with! (after all, I am an ex-English teacher!) Ever wondered about such phrases as… icy burn? fight for peace? definitely maybe? How about … government organization? act naturally? open secret? Why do we use phrases that don’t seem to make logical sense? For one reason, they are fun! Oscar Wilde […]
Serenity or Senility Prayer?
We all know the basic Serenity Prayer, but have you tried one of tweaked ones? Here are some…and you may know of others! My favorite one (which I couldn’t find an image for) is “God, grant me the serenity to accept there are things I’ve no time to read, time to read the things I […]
Book Power!
Enjoy this delightful poem originally written for the 50th Anniversary of our National Children’s Book Week in 1969. I like it! BOOK POWER by Gwendolyn Brooks BOOKS FEED AND CURE AND CHORTLE AND COLLIDE In all this willful world of thud and thump and thunder man’s relevance to books continues to declare. Books are […]
A little bit of wisdom…
Taken from a friend’s collection, these thoughts as images can make a good impression on our minds. Recognize any of them? All of them? Here are 11 of my favorites. Which one is your favorite? […]
Productive procrastination?!
We’ve all decried it, denied it, defied it. But most of us continue to see procrastination as the bane of our lives. But did you know? Researchers now suggest that wasting a bit of time here and there can actually be good! When used correctly, procrastination helps us think creatively and make informed decisions. After all, historically speaking, it […]
Disney-smart or stupid?
A maverick writer, James Altucher who coined the 5 x 5 Rule said that Walt Disney was the “stupidest person in the room.” (or, maybe turned out to be the smartest in the room!) Why? Because he was smart enough to stand next to his brother Roy (who kept Walt positive after their first business went […]
The 5 Chimps Theory
There’s a theory called “the five chimps theory” shared by Naval Ravikant, Silicon Valley tycoon, in his book Tools of Titans: In zoology, you can predict the mood and behavior patterns of any chimp by which five chimps they hang out with the most. And I believe we see it in our own (non-chimp?) lives! As Jim […]
a fun story!
Here’s a fun story for you to follow last week’s post on four letter words! “A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. ‘Well,’ said her mother, ‘so, how was the honeymoon?’ ‘Oh, mama,” she replied, ‘the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic…’ Suddenly […]
Word Play!
The words we choose to use we often choose unthinkingly. Here’s a game to take control of that! Using the infamous four letter words association, make a better list of all the positive four letter words you can think of. As you do that you’ll discover some words are neither negative nor positive, but seem neutral. So then you have […]