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What do we do when tragedy strikes?
Posted by Pat on December 16, 2012 in Uncategorized | ∞
NEWTOWN, CONNECTICUT
This weekend, with our awareness of Friday’s horrific tragedy in Newtown, has been one of sorrow and bewilderment.
It’s difficult to understand not only
“How could this happen” but “Why?”
Whatever happened to
the silver lining?
Being able to provide meaning to adversity is an essential part of recovering. This usually involves finding a positive aspect, some silver lining to the crisis.
Maybe a new opportunity arises in one area of our life
when a bad thing happens in another.
Or maybe the crisis begins to make sense later
when we get a bigger picture of the time frame in which it occurred.
It’s going to be hard to find a silver lining here.
How do we make any sense at all of a senseless act?
Maybe we don’t right now.
We need to remember that meaning-making and perspective take time. It’s part of our human nature to think on things for a bit before we figure them out.
And it’s okay to not be able to figure this out yet. It’s hard because
we so want to understand, we want for it to make sense.
We struggle with it.
So what do we do ?
We want to do something, to fix things, to make it go away. Yet we know that grief needs to run its healing course. Death is a part of our common humanity as is the grief that accompanies it. And our collective sorrow for the pain from the senseless events in Newtown seems overwhelming.
We can do what ever we need to process our feelings. Perhaps it helps to talk about it with a friend. Maybe it helps to write in a journal about how this tragedy reminds us of our own losses. If we are feeling vicariously traumatized by the events, we must make sure to take care of ourselves and our children. Create a space where we (and they) can feel safe, both physically and emotionally.
And breathe, remember to breathe.
Ernest Holmes, founder of Religious Science, asked,
“When we bring a lamp into a darkened room where does the darkness go?
The darkness neither came nor did it go, anywhere.
It was never a thing of itself, merely a condition,
simply the absence of light.”
We have a choice: to be the light or to stay
in the dark room. The Spirit within each of us,
the Life and Light within each of us,
is the gift we were given when we were born.
And it is our potential gift to the world.
We can remember our spiritual nature
and our connection to everyone and then we can
let our prayers, and our light, go out into the world.
We can hold a space for peace, for love, for healing.
We can be a part of the solution. What will you do?
8 Comments
Perfectly said. We all are the light that leads others from darkness. Sadness will pass, but the joy that we are will help heal the world. May its time to heal violence.
Esther,
Thanks for your sharing!
Emotions do pass, whether positive or negative. But actions can create lasting change. Doing, in addition to being, is necessary.
And, of course, we need to start closest to home, meaning ourselves. Shifting our self-condemnation, our anger, our frustrations to self-compassion, to acceptance of the imperfections of ourselves and others can start the process of healing.
Maybe it’ s time, while we grieve, to ask ourselves how we can help someone who is struggling to find meaning in life. It’s never too late. The person who did this has a family, too. Healing must go on as well for all of us. Let’s seek our peace now in recognizing the brotherhood of the human race. Make someone’s day. It costs so little. Reach out. Be the love we want to see.
Meg,
You’re so right. We do need to reach out.
People are hurting, even when it doesn’t show. I think everyone is looking for affirmation, for validation.
We are all valuable just by being. We don’t need to be perfect and neither does anyone else.
And smiling, sharing a comment, giving a hug, saying thanks for being you-these little things can make a big difference to all of us! (both the givers and the receivers)
Even in the darkness among dark clouds the light still shines through. Several kids got hugs from me Sunday at church. Share some hugs, help others as we do at our lunch for the hungry, add a few smiles here and there. Start at the small place and hope it is found in all the other small places.
Earl,
You’re so right about starting with ourselves and the people around us, particularly the youngsters in our lives. It isn’t just the children in Newtown that need love, compassion, assurance of safety- it’s all children who have to process this event and deal with their own fears. And the child within each of us!
All very well said and so true. Thank you Pat for your blog – it is always insprational and gives one things to think about!
Tish,
Thanks for your comments. Sharing our thoughts and feelings are what connect us with each other. And connection is one of our very human needs!