We’re all “storytellers”
Like me, I’ll bet you have a “story” for just about everything! Why you can’t lose weight, why you can’t keep a budget, why you can’t learn a new language, why you can’t learn to dance…
- “I’m just big-boned.”
- “I’ve never been good with math.”
- “I’m too old.”
- “I don’t have time.”
- “I’ve always had two left feet.”
Like me, you probably know that the story you tell yourself is really just your reason, your excuse to ease the guilt/the remorse/the pain of the choice you know you have made.
And it probably doesn’t matter whether your story came from your childhood or is just your current fiction, it still accomplishes the same thing: removing your personal responsibility from the situation.
But our stories, our reasons, our excuses, our complaints are actually our rationalizations why we won’t/can’t/shouldn’t change.
Expressing our discontent, we actually justify, perpetuate, and even increase our difficulties.
As we know,
the highest and most powerful form of energy is thought energy because what we think guides our feelings, our actions, our lives.
And when we verbalize what we are thinking, it magnifies the power of the thought and draws to us the folks who agree with our perspective, (bet you’ve noticed that in the staff room!)
Life thus creates a loop that justifies our comments. If we complain frequently, life will create a loop of self-sustaining misery (not exactly what we want!)
So are you thinking and speaking what you want to experience? Or what you don’t want to experience? Either way, as Henry Ford said,
Did you know there is actually a Complaint-Free World Movement that started back in 2006 and was featured on Oprah, Sixty Minutes and news stations? You can check out the book written by Will Bowen, appropriately enough titled A Complaint-Free World.
The idea originally came from Rev. Edwene Gaines’s book The Four Spiritual Laws of Prosperity. She proposed eradicating complaining day by day until one goes twenty-one consecutive days without a single complaint, thereby forming a new habit of being Complaint-Free.
I do NOT find it hard to believe that it typically takes people four to eight months to successfully complete twenty-one days without complaining!
I have yet to make it to four days.
If you’d like to try it, put a rubber band on one wrist for Day 1 and with every complaint switch the band to the other wrist and start over again on Day 1.
My personal challenge is my “selective hearing,” meaning I have to
- first notice that I’ve complained,
- then catch myself complaining,
- and THEN choose not to complain.
From those who’ve taken up the challenge as shared in Bowen’s book, the average person complains fifteen to thirty times a day and has no awareness he or she is doing so. That oblivious behavior is my selective hearing.
Ah well, self awareness comes first, right? Then self direction.
Do you have any stories/reasons/excuses/complaints you’d like to change?
We’d love to hear from you!
5 Comments
It seems in our world today most of what you hear is negative comments, about people, about events, about memories, about stories, about most anything. It is easy to respond negatively yourself. That person or thing is bad because. More bad for more bad and on and on.
I now try to find a way to see something positive to say and try to change this negative stuff, one person at a time. Stop playing this bad view game – politics, religion, letters to the editor, whatever. There is good to see and tell others about that too. Tell people about smile, happy things. Enough of the other view. Think before you speak and try to hold the bad stuff in – then will have time to let the good stuff out. Be aware of yourself and your influences on others. Smile.
Pat & Earl you are so right!!! For this morning I have been consciously thinking about what I say BEFORE it comes out! I am determined and so believe we can all make a difference if we look at the bright side!
Tish and Earl, thinking before speaking, what a challenge for most of us! We’re usually on auto pilot. We each can make a difference in the atmosphere around us just by the thoughts we think and, more importantly, the words we speak.
This might be a bit trickier than it sounds. Acknowledging the ‘negative’ or hard parts is part of making choices. Should we simply not say anything at all about that part but just move along? It’s difficult to consider remaining politically involved in my community and in the world without mentioning the bad stuff – not so much as a complaint as to educate so we can all move forward more positively.
In my daily life I choose to accept this challenge (at least for a few days to see if I can do it!), and will focus on being personally complaint free for myself. I will, however, continue to shine light on the things in the world where we need to work collectively to make changes in the positive direction.
Fay, I agree that we don’t want to bury our head in the sand about stuff going on, but I think your point is more to shine light on things. Complaining only adds to the negative and doesn’t really help.