Want to change someone?
Have you ever wished/ prayed/exhorted/ pleaded for someone to change? “If only he would get a job.” “If only she would start exercising.” “If only they would let me help them change.”
But what if we would only let the people around us be who they are and love them unconditionally like we often say we do!
Yes, I know we only want them to change or realize their potential because we think they will be happier, more productive and achieve greater fulfillment.
We may couch our need to change others with such reasons. But more often than not, we find that the actions (or lack of actions) of the people closest to us are embarrassing, infuriating or just unacceptable to our better judgement.
After all we want the best for them, don’t we? And we just happen to think we know what the best should be.
If we see someone about to be hit by a car, we should probably intervene. Seems like the right thing to do. But if they want to keep smoking, eat unhealthy and fattening food, or stay in a relationship that’s going nowhere, what business is it of ours?
Could it be that if we’re busy fixing others then our time is too occupied to take care of our own lives? Remember that saying “why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?”
What if, instead of trying to change others into what we think they should be, we live the life WE were meant to live and be an example for others to consider for themselves?
Folks don’t want to hear a sermon. So what if we stopped preaching/nagging/reminding/bugging our loved ones and friends about how they should change?
What if we were willing to just be a great example? To be the change we wish to see?
Just a reminder to myself! (and maybe you too?)
1 Comment
A wonderful reminder Pat. I need to be quiet, just for a moment, before making that ‘suggestion’…it’s usually long enough to remind myself it’s none of MY business. I have enough to do with my own self.