If they don’t like you…

The right way to deal with critics is to objectively process their dislike and determine if it’s warranted or not. If it is, then improve and change. If it’s not, then forget about them!

And being okay with being disliked allows us to learn from it. Not in order to appease someone, but to solidify who we are and what we stand for. Critics can be some of the best teachers we can have. We know they’ll be brutally honest and, thus, reveal an extremely valuable secret: what we need to work on.

And even though some of our behaviors may turn folks off, we can remember that likability is typically a two-way street. We don’t need to take it personally. (remember The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz?)

Their dislike of us is often just some sort of reflection of their history/their prejudices/their fears. So it is important for us to see where the criticism is coming from before taking it to heart.

And… know that it’s not (totally) your fault! For the most part, being disliked is a measure of mutual compatibility. So it’s not really that “it’s not you but them” so much as it’s both you and them! This person/situation is just not compatible to who or where you are.

Likability has a lot to do with what we bring to someone else’s table, whether or not we realize it. So if we don’t have anything in common that is equally valuable to both parties, then dislike is likely! (it’s okay!)