Four Words You Can Say to Jerks
The four words are simple,
they are easy,
and they are not that fancy.
Whenever someone is being a “jerk” you can say
“You might be right.”
This accomplishes a few things:
- It admits that maybe they are right. You make mistakes. Maybe you did something wrong. Could this person have brought it up without being a jerk? Sure, but just because they were a jerk doesn’t mean they were wrong.
- It ends the conversation.
- It releases you from carrying it around all day.
It’s over. You’re done. They might be right.
Maybe they’re not, but you didn’t say “You are right.” You said “You might be right.”
There really is nothing more important than your peace of mind. How you are feeling and what your are thinking throughout the day really matters and determines what energy is flowing.
Realize that there is no one that is worth the disturbance to your peace of mind. Protecting your mental space is your goal.
Remember, that you’re not trying to change, reform, improve, or fix them. And you’re not trying to prove them wrong.
What can we do?
We could decide to accept that just as bodies have warts and wrinkles, so do personalities, and so do relationships.
We don’t even have to understand each other as 
long as we accept each other! My husband’s enthusiasm for getting up at 4 am on a rainy or snowy day and hiking out into the marsh with a 30 pound sack of decoys on his back all in order to outwit some ducks was not something I understood. But I did accept it as something he loved to do and I was glad he had something he loved to do as much as that.
So when we meet the inevitable challenging person on our path, we don’t want to meet them as an adversary, but as a possible teacher.
By pushing our buttons, by blocking our path, they can help us (unwittingly!) discover the thoughts or feelings in our minds and hearts that we may have not have been aware of.
Once we become aware, we can choose to change or not.
So do you agree or not? What are your thoughts?
After all, you might be right!
10 Comments
I agree 100%, right on! I’ve used this tactic myself many times and it works! Thanks for your blogs, Pat! I really enjoy reading them!
Larry, great to hear from you! It’s always a choice we make about how re respond or react to someone else.
Sometimes no words at all gets the point across and you don’t have to say anything. If someone asks you what you think of “Damon” or of the issue “#34” – you can tell them what you think and end up in a heated discussion or have angry people. If you don’t say anything your point is well made but there is nothing to argue about. Your being quiet on the matter gets you quickly to an end of that topic. Now change the subject to something better to discuss. Having an opinion isn’t always needed – for sure when you keep quiet about your personal feelings.
Earl, how very true that we don’t need to have an opinion, or even to share it if we do! And it sure takes all the steam out of whoever wanted to start a confrontation.
Yeah, but I can’t count the number of times the buttons I’ve had pushed-not quick enough to say “you may be right”. Fortunately not all the time.
Love the word “might” in there……you are right – it can serve both people in a positive way. Earl’s tactic is one I love to use with political discussions that I know could possibly end up in a heated discussion with no happy ending for either!
Pat,
I agree as well. The same thing applies when you are having a difficult time in a conversation with someone you disagree with. I always say, I never thought about it that way. It keeps you from arguing, and has a nice way of bridging on to a new topic.
Peace and light,
Sandy
Sandy, I like your “I never thought about it that way” response! It’s a soft response that doesn’t encourage argument.
I just have one thing to say: “You might be right”.
Practicing these might help me very much in the near future! Thanks for sharing, Pat, and for the new ‘takes’ on it Sandy and Earl. This will be most useful towards keeping my peace of mind. The corollary to all this is the lack of need to be right (thus making the other person wrong). You are a master of that, Pat, and an excellent teacher by example!