Don’t blame the lettuce!
When you plant lettuce, don’t blame the lettuce if it doesn’t grow well! Look into the reasons why it is not doing well! Maybe it needs fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You don’t blame the lettuce! (The well-known spiritual leader, Thich Nhat Hanh is credited with this lesson!)
Yet when we have problems with our friends or our family, we often blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of others, they will grow well, just like the lettuce.
Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade by means of reason or argument.
At least that has been my experience!
Being alert to the necessity for balancing the need for “fertilizer, water, and/or sun” can help us come to understand the situation and the person.
And with that understanding comes love and the opportunity for growth and blessings.
Now, if you are the lettuce…
Blame, reason, argument still don’t help!
Very often we are harsh with ourselves, when we wouldn’t be with our friends. We need to treat ourselves as well as we would our best friend.
We are our own “lettuce” as well as the gardener for our patch of friends and life experiences with others.
So…
- let’s be kind,
- let’s be gentle, and
- let’s be smart.
And, just maybe, we can remember that we are not really in charge!
5 Comments
this was a fun read.
Randy
A delightful message. We are supposed to be a team player, not a ruler!
Too true! Cute!
Very well-said. Your voice really showed itself in that post!
Does this really mean that I can’t put the blame on those mean folks who want to hurt me? Just kidding. Even so, sometimes I still have to back off and tell myself that I’m in charge only of my own thoughts, although it may feel unfair.