Chocolate Rules!
My sister and I had a fun business called Chocolate! Chocolate! in Seattle a number of years ago. Since we chose not to make our own, we got to sample great chocolates from all over the world.
Sampling and selling chocolate to other chocolate lovers was great fun, plus we also sold other chocolate “paraphernalia” like:
- gorgeous cookbooks to peruse,
- utensils to use in cooking with chocolate,
- aprons to wear while eating chocolate,
- mugs to drink hot chocolate from,
- tote bags to carry our chocolate treasures home,
- books with stories that involved chocolate (like Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, Tooloose the Chocolate Moose, The Chocolate Touch)
And we loved the following rules shared by a friend that we chocoholics believe in:
THE RULES
1. Chocolate is a vegetable. How, you ask? It’s derived from cacao beans. Bean=vegetable. Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.
2. And to go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.
3. If you’ve got melted chocolate all over your hands, you’re eating it too slowly. The problem: how to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: eat it in the parking lot.
4. Diet tip: eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It’ll take the edge off your appetite, and you’ll eat less.
5. Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. Therefore, you need to eat more chocolate.
6. Put “eat chocolate” at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you’ll get one thing done.
7. If you can’t eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can’t eat all your chocolate, what’s wrong with you?
And still another friend shared Chocolate Math with us. Try it and let us know if it works for you as well!
Pick the number of times a week that you would like to have chocolate (of course, it’s more than one, but keep it less than 10).
Multiply this number by 2.
Add 5.
Multiply it by 50. (go ahead and get a calculator).
If you’ve already had your birthday this year, add 1762…if not add 1761.
Subtract the 4-digit year you were born.
You should have a 3-digit number. The first digit is your original number (how many times you want chocolate) and the next two numbers reveal your age.
Chocolate knows everything!
16 Comments
Chocolate!! My favorite food group. I did the math and it came out correct for me. I really like rule #3. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve eaten my chocolate in a parking lot LOL
Carol,
Good to hear from you!
I guess rule #3 is why someone invented M&M’s! Though I’m not sure they really count as chocolate!
Great post! And… it just confirms that chocolate makes everything better! LOL 🙂
Meg,
I appreciate comments from a great cook such as you are. And I love the chocolate-tinged recipes you have on your blog!
I need chocolate !! Thats what I know. M@Ms, yogurt, ice cream, pie, cookies, kisses, butterfingers, almost anything. I also exercise a lot to make up for all the chocolate. But not as much chocolate as my friend Cathy Small.
Earl,
Thanks for connecting !
I know I don’t exercise enough to make up for all the chocolate I eat, but that doesn’t stop me from indulging!
Great ideas! Thinking about chocolate is calorie free and gives me a high!
Karen,
I only wish that I had the willpower to just think about chocolate! But you probably know that since I’ve owned a chocolate store, that I’m hooked on chocolate! Thanks for connecting with me.
My grandfather believed chocolate Hersey bars were good for a person
because they contained milk. He kept some for my kids in the freezer
for when we visited. I personally liked rules number 4 & 6. The math is great!
Gail,
I would have liked your grandfather, a lot! I’m currently stashing dark chocolate Reeses peanut butter cups in my freezer to be doled out over the next month or so.
Ooooo! Quahquate! (As my son so adoringly called Chocolate for many years).
My husband is black. I am white. Our son is a luscious combination. He one day remarked, “So Mommy, dark quahquate is a piece of melted Daddy, and milk Quahquate is a piece of melted Me, and white quaquate is a piece of melted You! It’s so sweet that God maked sweet pieces of each other for us to bite without hurting anybody!”
Indeed! Wise Quahquate Child of the Chocolate Universe. 😉
Thanks so much for your insight! I’ve always known that children are the “wise elders” for us to pay attention to! And if you take chocolate as the metaphor it can be, then we are all blessed to enjoy our differences as well as our similarities.
Thanks Pat, you’re right. I did enjoy the chocolate math and the rest of your story. The older I get, the more I crave chocolate. Used to be just a once-a-month craving, but now I crave it everyday!
Joy, good to hear from you! Chocolate may be the great “leveler” at least for those willing to admit it. It is hard for me to believe that my husband prefers red licorce! No accounting for taste!
Really have missed your store and I still eat chocolate as much or more than you!
Doris,
Glad you caught this post! The chocolate theme sure has been a popular one. I read somewhere that 14 out 10 people like chocoate! And I know that you as well as I should try cutting back (maybe skipping just one day a week would work?)