Posts by Pat:
Nice or Kind?
What is the difference between being nice and being kind? At first glance it’s hard to tell. We often use them interchangeably when describing people. A “nice person” will hold the door for others, but so does a “kind person.”
If the underlying motivation for holding the door for others is to create a favorable impression then it can be consdered nice due to its pleasing effect, but not necessarily kind without a sense of benevolence. Conversely, if the motivation is to spare the other person from extra effort or inconvenience, then it could be considered both kind as well as nice.
Stephen Covey in his 7 Habits of Highly Effective People talks about the difference between the personality ethic and the character ethic.
We may have a personality ethic (being nice) and express it on the surface. It’s something that people perceive. Whereas our character ethic is expressed from beneath the surface, from within.
There are big differences between nice and kind. Nice is about what the other person is thinking and feeling; their perception of the situation. Kind is about what we choose to do and why.
Niceness is a virtue that we are taught early in our lives, to behave in a courteous manner and be pleasant to others.
I believe one of the hardest (yet most important) things we must learn to do is to start being kind to everyone that we can. I believe that most people, regardless of the differences they have with us in terms of race, creed, religion, culture, sexual preference or social status…need our kindness.
Kindess is not limited to grandmothers or Boy Scouts. Being kind is fundamentally the greatest gift we can give to the world.
Maybe we need to stop telling our children to be nice and instead tell them to be kind, and then tell them the difference!
What do you think? What marks the difference being nice and being kind? Can the two overlap? Share your thoughts below!
Some favorite thoughts…
Maybe it’s my English teacher background or maybe it’s my bookstore owner background or maybe I’m just quirky, but I love collecting thoughts shared by others! I’m sharing some with you today to see which ones you like best. So…which of these 6 resonates most with you? “If the only tool you have is a […]
Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My..!
Remember in the movie The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy, the Scarecrow and the Tin Man entered the scary forest as they followed the yellow brick road? As they entered the gloomy forest they discussed their fears, culminating in the catchy “Lions and Tigers and Bears, Oh My!” Just as in the Biblical story of […]
Simple is surprisingly good
Many of the reasons we fail to find elegant solutions to problems are self-inflicted. We overthink a problem, or jump to conclusions, or decide after a few moments that we have a solid B-minus answer and are ready to move on. And so we miss the simplest, cheapest, least-intrusive, most effective changes we can make. […]
Ramblings as an “elder”
Some people try to turn back their “odometers.” Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved! Why is the easiest way to find something lost around the house is to go out and buy a replacement? Did you ever […]
Words can steal, heal, reveal
Words that Steal Stealing someone’s joy hurts them as deeply as stealing their physical possessions. When we say something unkind to others, we are stealing their self-esteem. When we interrupt others and “steal” their punch line, we’re taking away their joy of sharing humor. And has anyone ever told you “who did it” when you’ve […]
Once upon a time…
Once upon a time, there was a king who had gone to visit his neighboring kingdoms. He was gifted a pair of baby Macaw Parrots by one of the kings. They were the most beautiful birds he had ever seen. So upon returning to his kingdom, he called for a bird trainer and asked him […]
I can’t. I’m Grounded!
Does that message ring a bell with any of the rest of you? When I was growing up, getting grounded meant that I wasn’t allowed to do the things that I valued most at the time. These days, I often feel called to ground myself when I feel like I need to take a break […]
Life’s washing machine
When you open the lid of the washing machine during the agitation cycle, you find gray, smelly water full of the dirt and residue from the clothes you are washing. If you didn’t understand the process, you’d think something had gone terribly wrong since the process is supposed to clean the clothes, and now they […]
Ready for a new beginning?
Something new beckons. But are you trying to stay put because it’s familiar? Like a chick in an egg, do you find your comfortable shell becoming cramped? Spring is a reminder that growth and transformation is normal and natural. This cycle of nature brings changes in the weather, extended hours of sunlight, the birth and […]