Posts by Pat:
Are we asking the wrong questions?
Asking “why” is often the wrong question. Of course we know our brain loves to solve problems and can figure out how to make a pumpkin pie, sail across oceans, or build a house. It is a wonderful tool for problem solving and creativity.
But… when we are trying to understand ourselves, to find a way out of suffering, our brain can derail us when our minds get caught in the process of figuring out why.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- Why am I feeling this way?
- Why did this happen to me?
- Why did I do that again?
Asking “why” is how our mind attempts to make sense of things. The “why” question stimulates our mind to keep searching for stories and explanations.
It tries to come up with reasons to answer the question. But rather than focusing on what needs to shift, we find we’re stuck trying to research why this happened, what caused it.
So…maybe we should forget about asking why and instead ask questions that bring our attention to our right-now experience, looking for solutions, and see what our mind does with that. Ruminating on the why keeps us stuck on the problem, rather than being open to fixing it.
- What is most important to me right now?
- What can I do differently?
- What can I surrender right now that isn’t serving me?
Our brain does want to answer our questions! And we can feel a difference because these types of questions open us to the expansiveness of the moment and the choices we could be making, the actions we could be taking, instead of just looking back and trying to figure out “why.”
So today, instead of looking for reasons as to why things are the way they are, we can try asking ourselves how we’d love it to be, what we would need to do. And we can let our minds go to work on these more productive questions!
We do live in a responsive universe. Asking a different question can generate a new energy in our hearts and minds. This creates a new cause and thus new effects are on the way!
To paraphrase an important saying…
Have YOU ever found that this small shift in asking yourself better questions has helped you change your experience?
Stuff happens.
I am not the only one. You are not the only one. We are not the only ones to experience stress, difficulty, frustration and painful experiences. What happens to me or you happens to ALL of us. There is no conspiracy against us. We are not the laboratory rats of the universe. My age may […]
Our struggles can serve us…
An interesting thought from spiritual author and teacher Marrianne Williamson: “In order to create their beautiful plumage, peacocks sometimes eat thorns. Hard, pointed, razor-like objects are processed in their abdomens and then contribute to feathers with colors and shapes unmatched throughout nature for their extraordinary beauty.” She continued saying…”So it is with us. Often that […]
What is enough?
What is enough? Saying that “I am enough” or that “I have enough” or even that “I’ve done enough” often sounds like I’m settling for less than I could be, have, or do. (And probably isn’t even the truth!) We could consider the option of replacing the word “enough” with the word “plenty.” Notice the […]
We also get some right!
Here’s one of my favorite stories from 6 years ago: Little Emma is 6 years old and in first grade and it’s the end of the first week. When Mom picked her up from school, Emma bounced happily into the car. “How was school today, honey?” Immediately and very happily, Emma answered: “I had my […]
Why are we comparing?
I bet you know someone(s) who is(are) brighter than you, is(are) cuter than you, or is(are) more creative than you. Then there are the folks who are on the other end of the scale who have less money, have more health issues, or have more dysfunctional family members. So what? What is the comparison for? […]
This new season…
September is such an invigorating idea! It’s back to school and time for some new projects. It’s unofficially the beginning of fall. And though fall is really only 3 months long, that’s plenty of time to look at the “clean slate” that it provides us. I invite you to join me and stop “doing” for […]
How did YOU spend your summer vacation?
Do you remember having to write about how you spent your summer vacation back in grade school? I do! Over the years my vacations had gotten shorter…from those couple of months to a week to three-day-weekends. Now from the view of retirement, I can take as much time as I want. I find that the […]
Can procrastination be good?
That last-minute panic as a motivator? Maybe…maybe not! Most of us decry it, deny it, or defy it, but still continue to see procrastination as the bane of our lives. But did you know..? Researchers now suggest that wasting a bit of time here and there can actually be good for us! When it’s used […]
Do these make any sense?
Ever wondered why some of these sayings don’t seem to really make sense? And how about…confirmed rumor, or unbiased opinion, or military intelligence? Each of these is called an oxymoron, which a dictionary defines as “a combination of contradictory or incongruous words.” Still another dictionary defines an oxymoron as a “wittily paradoxical turn of phrase […]