Are we asking the wrong questions?
Asking “why” is often the wrong question. Of course we know our brain loves to solve problems and can figure out how to make a pumpkin pie, sail across oceans, or build a house. It is a wonderful tool for problem solving and creativity.
But… when we are trying to understand ourselves, to find a way out of suffering, our brain can derail us when our minds get caught in the process of figuring out why.
Do any of these sound familiar?
- Why am I feeling this way?
- Why did this happen to me?
- Why did I do that again?
Asking “why” is how our mind attempts to make sense of things. The “why” question stimulates our mind to keep searching for stories and explanations.
It tries to come up with reasons to answer the question. But rather than focusing on what needs to shift, we find we’re stuck trying to research why this happened, what caused it.
So…maybe we should forget about asking why and instead ask questions that bring our attention to our right-now experience, looking for solutions, and see what our mind does with that. Ruminating on the why keeps us stuck on the problem, rather than being open to fixing it.
- What is most important to me right now?
- What can I do differently?
- What can I surrender right now that isn’t serving me?
Our brain does want to answer our questions! And we can feel a difference because these types of questions open us to the expansiveness of the moment and the choices we could be making, the actions we could be taking, instead of just looking back and trying to figure out “why.”
So today, instead of looking for reasons as to why things are the way they are, we can try asking ourselves how we’d love it to be, what we would need to do. And we can let our minds go to work on these more productive questions!
We do live in a responsive universe. Asking a different question can generate a new energy in our hearts and minds. This creates a new cause and thus new effects are on the way!
To paraphrase an important saying…
Have YOU ever found that this small shift in asking yourself better questions has helped you change your experience?